Monthly Archives: December 2006

>2006 Darwin Awards

>I’m usually pretty skeptical about *some* of these Darwin Award emails but this looks like an official site. He even cites some references:
Here’s a little bit of the High on Life story:

(3 June 2006, Florida) Two more candidates have thrown themselves into the running for a Darwin Award. The feet of Jason and Sara, both 21, were found protruding from a deflated, huge helium advertising balloon. Jason was a college student, and Sara attended community college, but apparently their education had glossed over the importance of oxygen.
The pair pulled down the 8′ balloon, and climbed inside. Their last words consisted of high-pitched, incoherent giggling as they slowly passed out and passed into the hereafter.

2006 Darwin Awards

>Dawn Red Tailed Hawk

What, you can’t see it?

It’s on the 3rd power pole, up on the top crossmember.

>High Winds in Reno

>The news was reporting 60mph winds with gusts to 90mph.

Two semi-trucks blew over on the freeway.

It blew down part of Flyin’ Brian’s fence and part of his neighbors fence.

>Ominous Reno Clouds

>Mrs. Geezer woke me up early this morning.

“Come outside and look at the clouds”.

The wind was blowing like crazy but it was surprisingly warm.

>Science of Santa Claus

>I was about 11 when I told my cute little sister the Truth about Santa.
I was a Jerk Mean kid.

Turns out I was wrong:

If you’re skeptical of Santa’s abilities to deliver presents to millions of homes and children in just one night, North Carolina State University’s Dr. Larry Silverberg, professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering, can explain the plausible science and engineering principles that could allow the Jolly Old Elf to pull off the magical feat year after year.

Shut Up!
He can really *Do* that stuff?

Well, shut my mouth.

Jolly Old Elf Really Can Deliver Presents in One Night, Says NC State Engineer:

>Flyin’ Brian Christmas


Flyin’ Brian has a lot to be thankful for this Christmas.

His leg is still bothering him.

The two bones in his lower leg were sticking out of his skin and his ankle was blown out after the crash. He has a broken nose, broken ribs and broken vertibrae in his back.

It will be at least 3 months before he can take off the back brace.

If the Lord brings the family of Kevin Orr to mind, please continue to pray for them.

>NORAD Tracks Santa 2006

>Howdy to all you Youngsters out there, and especially to my little sister, Danni.
Well she’s almost 60 years old but back when she was a cute little tyke I told her there was no Santa Claus.

I would like to say that I was Wrong.

Here’s the Official Government NORAD Tracking station for Santa.

Welcome to NORAD Tracks Santa 2006

>Parents in toe-chewing case make plea deal –


“BOSSIER CITY, Louisiana (AP) — A couple whose baby’s toes were gnawed off by a family pet will accept a deal from the prosecutor and plead guilty to improper child supervision, their attorney said.

Improper supervision?
Ya Think?

That’s it, I’m not letting Spudder The Feral Cat in the house. Ever.

Read the rest:

>The Crap Tree

>I meant to post this story earlier but the time just slipped away.
Better late than never.
This is a story of Christmas, Christmas Decorations to be precise.
It was written by my Pretend Internet Friend, Dave in Texas.
You’ll like it.

“Several years ago my wife conceived a plan to take over Christmas decorations in our home. She’s been very patient, moving so carefully that I only realized the scope of her plan this year. This fight isn’t over, not by a long shot. But I’ve lost a lot of ground

I am what you would call a ‘Christmas kind of guy’. I love Christmas. I love the lights and the pretty packages, the wreaths, the greenery hanging everywhere. I like Christmas plates and coffee cups. Christmas cookies, Christmas music, Christmas towels in the bathrooms, Christmas napkins, Christmas movies and books, if they had Christmas toilet paper I would buy two cases (does anybody know if they make that?). I think Christmas lights on pickup trucks look terrific…”

The Crap Tree � Dave in Texas:

>Magical Musical Mashup

>What do you get when you combine: Dolly Parton, Eurythmics, Beatles, Beastie Boys, Pat Benatar, Laurie Anderson and Art of Noise?

You get The Stairway to Bootleg Heaven: “

I got chills listening to this.

Click the link on the left side of his screen. You can even download them and burn them on your own CD.

Over the Confluence of Giants is pretty good too.

>The Ten Most Dangerous Toys.

>I can see how Lawn Darts might make the Top Ten.

I utilized a Slip ‘n Slide to injure my little sister.
That probably should have made the list too.
Darn it.

Our toy box from hell.

>Window Delivered

Mrs. Geezer delivered the 3 windows today in the rain.

We’ll post better photos when the sun comes out.

Rain, rain, go away.

>Smart or Stoopid?


I scored a 24 but the cat was rubbing against my leg and that distracted me.

Yeah, that’s it.

>Massive Duck Die-Off in Idaho

Yeah, I know it’s not a Duck. I didn’t have a duck photo.

I took this (big) picture in my back yard.
The smaller picture I got off the Intertubes.

I bet you City Slickers can’t identify it.

Maybe DinT, Geoff, Mr. Minority and Skinbad can.

“BOISE, Idaho (AP) – More than 1,000 mallard ducks have died along a single creek in southern Idaho, and officials on Wednesday tested tissue samples to find out why.

National News- Massive Duck Die-Off in Idaho

H/T Elzbth.

UPDATE: All my heavy hitters got the wrong answer, here’s the right answer.

>Fearful Christmas Decorations

>Mrs. Geezer has been working hard on some Stained Glass windows lately and hasn’t done much holiday decorating.

Today she surprised me with this Christmas Hedgehog in the guest bathroom.

By surprised, I mean that I was groggily splashing water on my face this morning and looked over and saw this Frickin’ Wolverine, about 12 inches away from my throat.

Woke me right up.

>Fluent in 5 Languages

>”Rosie O’Donnell’s Magical, Multicultural, Starbucks Adventure

Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?

WuzzaDem: has the whole story – with pictures!

>Mrs. Geezer Wraps Up Another Job

I haven’t seen her in a while. After breakfast she disappears back in her Glass Studio.

She comes to bed after Midnight.

She is just finishing a big job that needed to be done before Christmas.

No wonder she looks happy.

Me too.

>Walking Font Man

I’m already sick of looking at my nose.

>Why Does My Nose Run…

…When I Eat Spicy Food?

“…most spicy foods contain something called ‘capsaicin,’ a chemical found in peppers. When ingested, it’s believed to affect ‘the quantity and thickness of mucus and other fluids secreted in the nasal passages.’ In other words, it’s a kind a nasal decongestant.

Well wouldn’t eating peppers help me clear up my sinuses?

“You might think ingesting a lot of spicy foods would help clear out allergies or a cold. But, according to Organic Authority, you’d be wrong. While spicy food like peppers and wasabi ‘offers brief relief,’ in reality, ‘your nasal congestion will worsen, making you even more miserable.’ That’s because spicy foods cause greater congestion in the long term…”

Why does my nose run when I eat spicy food?:

>Important Safety Tip

>Here’s a tip for those of you who live in colder areas of the country.

Ever had your lock freeze up on your vehicle?

H/T Kelso.